I love to go to the movies, mostly GOOD movies – serious, historical, dramatic. Now, don’t get me wrong, I love a good chick flick, but I truly value a classic. I’m here (over a year from my last post (lame, I know)) to make some observations about the movie I saw last night: Jane Eyre. It was fantastic, really awesome. I truly enjoyed it, and I even re-read the book again a month ago for the release of this very movie. (Have I ever said how very much I love to read?) I really enjoyed those two hours spent watching the plot unfold before me for about the 5th time in my life. However, I did have a slightly unsettled feeling every time the movie cut a corner to save on time or tweaked the plot to serve the director’s purpose. I know many people do not care whether movies take liberties with the original text, and that is fine! However, I do. I am not sure why, but I am pretty passionate about it being veritable to the original author’s designs, especially when that author is Charlotte Bronte. Thus, I wanted to lean over to my poor friend throughout the film, who probably did not care about each detail of the text, and explain to her why (in my opinion) something was so important, why an emotion should have been better portrayed, etc.

At one point in the movie, like in many I view, I had to use the restroom. Always happens. You are probably thinking, Then just go to the restroom before. I did. Anyhow, as I walked (well, kind of sprinted) to the restroom, I wondered why it was I so thoroughly enjoy every minute I spend reading a plot unfold, understanding the character development, grasping the underlying emotions, and why the cinematic version leaves me wanting EVERY (and I mean every) TIME. First I thought, Does it really matter, Tara? You like to read. That’s all. But, I really am not sure that’s it. Here is the small lesson I felt I learned from my reflections. It had to do with relationship, naturally.

In relationship, you have the choice to be the friend or spouse that only has time, energy, patience for the 110 minute or 72 hour version of your counterpart’s life, hopes, fears, dreams, needs, etc. Many, especially in our fast-paced, exigent society, opt for the former. We do not have the time to truly sit and hear the laying out of past, present and future. We do not give room for nuance, back-story or surrounding circumstance. We want to “just get to the point, already.” The lesson I learned, though, is when I approach relationship in that manner, as a movie, I want to see a little of the bad, a lot of the good and a nicely wrapped-up ending. I do not give room for the rest. The rest is what makes a story rich in the telling; it is what causes the audience to sympathize with the antagonist while finding frustration for the flaws in the protagonist. It makes the story genuine, authentic and believable. When you learn the story with “all the rest” in it, there is no room for embellishment or salesmanship. It is what it is, and therein lies the beauty. We are to love unconditionally – flaws and all – but how can we when we will not invest the initial time to truly know someone?

Am I saying a movie is always inadequate? No, not necessarily. But until you read the book, you won’t know what you are misssing, will you?


a time of honey

In January, a friend gave me a word about how I am in a time of pollination to produce honey. He said honey represents the thick presence of God. Boy-oh-boy, do I need that.

I find it interesting that honey is used to represent the Jewish new year – Rosh Hashana. It is eaten with apples or in small honey sticks to usher in a sweet New Year. In Judges, Samson finds honey in a Lion carcass. Could that represent the sweetness the Lord infuses into times of death and evil? Another symbol of Him turning evil into good for those who are loved and called according to His purposes? He is really that redemptive.

So, what does that mean for me? I pray His thick, sweet presence is coming to bring me into a new year of redemption and wholeness. No more artificial sweeteners to mask bitterness or the results of hope deferred. I want the real thing – the whole food, with its nutrition, energy and healing properties. Only He will suffice.

I also like the thought that local honey is best for your health and immunity. He knows each and everyone of us so intimately. He knows the regions we live in and the unique needs we each have. His nectar will work in harmony with our place and position in this life. His antioxidants work to sacrifice themselves to destroy the carcinogens that surround us in our every day life.

Does every cell in this world point to the story of our Savior? I will never stop finding the parallels. Abba, you are so present, so thick, so embedded in every aspect of our world. How can we miss it?


I feel like I’m more upbeat – more focused on living – on LIFE. L’Chaim.

God really does have impeccable timing. Gym membership + Josh Axe class + Spring + my car back + new flowers planted = freedom and increased self-esteem, purpose. I’m enjoying this, though hesitant to think it will vanish like every other well-meaning attempt at healthy, purposeful living. I can’t believe that, though. I have to have faith that God even gives umpteenth chances and one is bound to stick. I even like how Cory’s falling into his role: supportive, yet unobtrusive. Quite refreshing.

Also interesting is my revived desire to read and to soak in music. I know I can never escape it, though I try. I won’t lie and say this new macbook pro isn’t helping make it more fun and more interesting. I just love it. And I don’t even use it for 10% of why it’s created. But I think I’ll learn.

Is it normal to feel like you are learning more of yourself? You think you know, but, well, do we really? I’m not so sure. I feel like I discover something new, but then think, “Naw, Tara. You’re just manipulating yourself to like that [fill in the blank].” But which part is the manipulation: the former discovery or latter “Naw?” Lord if I know.

Good thing He knows. I wish I wasn’t in a place to have to remind myself that He is good. It’s like a new revelation every time I say it. “God is good.” I think, well, duh, Tara. But it really does come to me like a new thought. Kind of discourages me that it is so. Well, what do you do other than keep thinking it?

The new statement I really need to transform into a revelation is: “God loves me.” Having it on a t-shirt or knowing that at least 300 people have told me that before now doesn’t make a lick of difference. I need it to soak in and stay awhile – like forever. Only the Holy Spirit can do that, and I’m not Him. I’ve known you for a long time, Abba. Think it’s about time I move into that reality? I’ll pray for the great aforementioned timing to kick in again (see sentence 2). I know You’re perfect and will bring me to that place.

Really, this, my first blog ever, is getting too long and disjointed, but not a bad start, if I do say so myself. I wonder if anyone will ever read it.